Why Share the Hard Things?

We are in the middle of an Adoption Bible Study through the adoption ministry at our church. I love the Bible Study as it is truly God-centered. We talk about such topics as our adoption by God, God's sovereignty in adoption, discipling our children.

Ken and I are passionate about adoption - and have four adopted kids to show for it. So why do I sometimes share some of the hard things about adoption? That question has a long answer but, my immediate answer is, "because there are hard things about adoption." Whether it be in the process itself, the wait to bring home the child, or after the homecoming there are some things that are hard.

I share about some of the personal struggles we have had because I feel that if I am going to encourage someone in the area of adoption I better be honest with them up front. I don't want someone to come back and ask me why I didn't tell them it could be hard. And I will insert here that not all of our adoptions have been "hard", though there have been moments in each situation that have grown us closer to the Lord. I also want someone to know that if they are going through some difficulty they are not alone.

Ken and I have often talked about what we think people should know about adoption. Here are three things that come to mind without too much effort:

1. Adoption is the bringing together of two families, even if you only meet one member of one of the families involved. Simply, adoption is sort of like marriage. It is a committment made for life and involves the blending of two families.

2. Adoption is humbling. When I think about the Lord knowing us so well, especially our weaknesses, I am humbled that He chose us to parent any of our children. Oh wait a minute, they are actually His children.

3. In a perfect world the best place for a child would be with their birth family. However, we live in a fallen world. And just as God adopted us into His family when things didn't work out as He originally had planned (see Genesis 3), the adoption of children is the best plan when it is not possible for a child to grow up in their birth family. And one of the cool benefits of both of these types of adoption is that God can be glorified in each one! Addendum to #3 - in no way am I saying here that adoption is second choice in God's plan for us or our children, see Psalm 139:16.

As I am typing this I think of several others, but I think for now I will stop there. Maybe I will return to this list later.

We want people to know that we believe that the Lord placed each one of our children into our family, just in different ways. And we are so very thankful for the opportunity to love and raise each of our children even on the "hard" days.