(Disclaimer: This post is in no way meant to minimize those children who have the title of Special Needs.)
As I think about the needs of each of our children I can't help but think each has special needs. They do not carry the title of special needs but they have them none the less. Our high schooler is looking at decisions for his future. He has the special need of needing to lay his decisions before the Lord, bounce things off of his parents, and sort out the tons of college mail we get pretty much every day. His need for clarity with his future is huge to him right now.
Our college student is waiting to hear about an opportunity at school next year. She has the special need to know that the Lord is sovereign over all decisions and that should she be chosen or not be chosen for this position it is because it is what the Lord sees as best.
Whether in first grade and struggling with Rocket Math facts or 6th grade and working on a Science Fair project each child has special needs.
The largest special need each of our children has is for a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. The difficult part of that for me as a parent is that I can't make that relationship happen for them. We can teach them when they walk along the road, when they lie down, and when they get up the ways of the Lord but ultimately they have to make that decision for themselves. That's where it gets tricky. I have to trust the Lord with my children's hearts. I have known for some time that I have to hold my children loosely as they really are God's children that He has entrusted to us for a time. But when their heart does not follow your desire for them or for that matter God's desire for them it can be heartwrenching.
I do not look at my children and think "that one is adopted, that one biological". There are many, many days when I don't think about a child being adopted. They are so much a part of us. I have come to see that the heart of an adopted child has a special need though that our biological children will never experience on the same level. My relationship with them is more tender at this level because their hearts have experienced a great loss. They may not be able to put it into words and not every one of them feels it to the same degree or even continuously but it is there. Each child deals with that loss in their own way, some it rarely bothers, others it creates a protective covering over. So my job as a mom is to peel away at that covering with God's love for that child that I must allow to flow through me even though that child may be working hard to keep their cover intact.
They may play tug of war with that heart covering for a long time and so I hang on to the Lord and I remember that "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." (Phil. 4:13) Because I know that the heart of every child has a special need.
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give to you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your
foreheads. Write them on your doorframes of your houses and on your gates."
Deuteronomy 6: 5-9 (NIV)
As I think about the needs of each of our children I can't help but think each has special needs. They do not carry the title of special needs but they have them none the less. Our high schooler is looking at decisions for his future. He has the special need of needing to lay his decisions before the Lord, bounce things off of his parents, and sort out the tons of college mail we get pretty much every day. His need for clarity with his future is huge to him right now.
Our college student is waiting to hear about an opportunity at school next year. She has the special need to know that the Lord is sovereign over all decisions and that should she be chosen or not be chosen for this position it is because it is what the Lord sees as best.
Whether in first grade and struggling with Rocket Math facts or 6th grade and working on a Science Fair project each child has special needs.
The largest special need each of our children has is for a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. The difficult part of that for me as a parent is that I can't make that relationship happen for them. We can teach them when they walk along the road, when they lie down, and when they get up the ways of the Lord but ultimately they have to make that decision for themselves. That's where it gets tricky. I have to trust the Lord with my children's hearts. I have known for some time that I have to hold my children loosely as they really are God's children that He has entrusted to us for a time. But when their heart does not follow your desire for them or for that matter God's desire for them it can be heartwrenching.
I do not look at my children and think "that one is adopted, that one biological". There are many, many days when I don't think about a child being adopted. They are so much a part of us. I have come to see that the heart of an adopted child has a special need though that our biological children will never experience on the same level. My relationship with them is more tender at this level because their hearts have experienced a great loss. They may not be able to put it into words and not every one of them feels it to the same degree or even continuously but it is there. Each child deals with that loss in their own way, some it rarely bothers, others it creates a protective covering over. So my job as a mom is to peel away at that covering with God's love for that child that I must allow to flow through me even though that child may be working hard to keep their cover intact.
They may play tug of war with that heart covering for a long time and so I hang on to the Lord and I remember that "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." (Phil. 4:13) Because I know that the heart of every child has a special need.
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give to you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your
foreheads. Write them on your doorframes of your houses and on your gates."
Deuteronomy 6: 5-9 (NIV)
